We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
