Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
