My sheets look like a crime scene.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
