Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
