I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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