I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
