that's an acceptable place to lick
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
