STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
