Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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