Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
