We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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