I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
