Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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