I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
ok first of all what the fuck
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