so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize