her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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