Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
