make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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