Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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