I'm drive I can fine osifer
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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