party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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