This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
