Will you blow on my dice?
she looked like the before picture.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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