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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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