Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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