Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
