She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He has the fingertips of a God
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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