hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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