Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
