Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
another moral hangover. fuck.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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