I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
