Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
