And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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