I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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