About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
