so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
