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please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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