Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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