I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
