sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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