Buhtt sex?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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