The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
