So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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