a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
