A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
