He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
