I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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