It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
