these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
