some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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