every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize