I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
you never un-have a 4some
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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