ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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