he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She even gives head with a lisp.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
