It's Friday. Sex?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
