When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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