this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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