yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
