dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
