Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
