haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
